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“The president tried to prove how healthy he was this weekend by releasing this photo of him ‘at work.’ Now, some have pointed out that the piece of paper seems to be blank. But to defend the president, that doesn’t mean he’s not working, because a blank piece of paper is his Covid response plan.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Now look, I know some people are saying this was karma catching up to Trump, but guys, a massive outbreak at the White House is not karma, it’s consequences, all right? It’s not karma to get hit by lightning when you’re standing on the roof of a skyscraper holding a metal rod while there’s lightning. The universe didn’t do that [expletive] (SHIT!!) to you — you did that [expletive] (SHIT!!!) to yourself.” — TREVOR NOAH

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