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Archive for March 3, 2022

Suddenly last evening

We were just home and finishing dinner last evening. As I carried the dishes to the sink, Ray fell over as he peered into one of the shopping bags. Clumsy?! No, it was a sudden catastrophic heart attack. He was dead even as I scooped him into my arms. In that brief instant his pupils were already fixed and dilated. Dead. The realization took hold as I started to try cardiac resuscitation. It would not work. He was gone. Just like that, our baby boy was gone. I’m in shock. Colleen cried. Sad. I am too sad and shocked to let it sink in. In my medical career I have faced death and consoled loved ones many times. I am searching and cannot summon the tears. There are times when sadness is so profound that tears cannot come. Later, perhaps, for now I will mourn the loss of our beloved cat Ray. He was loved. We will remember him. I miss you Ray. Colleen misses you. Sleep my baby boy, rest. I have typed the words; the tears will come.

Colleen recalled Tennyson: “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” And me? “G’night Ray, see you in the morning….”