Looking to find
I go looking for things… sometimes I run across something. I was looking for a good shot… ah! How would I have known these folks would be so large in my life? Friends. We worked together for a bunch of years. It was productive for us all.
It’s randomly placed in the catalog. I did not peruse the metadata. It was simply a long time ago. It was a good time. I would never have expected the end game we all went thru. We remain friends. I cannot ask more than that.
Happy ending
It’s a lot of pieces that had to fall perfectly into place…. A five hundred mile plus driving day some of it in a driving rain!
I should not have answered the phone… Covid! It culminated in dinner in an old haunt on Staten Island with an old friend.
Long story? Short! The kid got Covid. He only had the sniffles. An abundance of caution later and he was ++. Isolated in a nearby hotel, he now needed a ride to the airport for his flight home – spring break. I am not close by. … a trip to the museum, the pick up, and the drop off. 500+ miles later we were home. We made lemons/lemonade by having dinner on the way home. Ginny and I have been friends for too many years to honestly say…. So I won’t. The food? No! … the company of friends. not the food. Priceless!
Quick… how old?
I need a shot of Ginny. She’s retiring. How old?! Old enough. We … I know her for many more years than I care to admit. We are… not young. There have been many hospitals… too many to count. It seems like we followed each other…. Yes, it has been a good deal of water under and over the …. And there’s Don and Pat… and Terry. He and Terry have split. Colleen and I are joined. Ginny has been the glue, holding this motley group together and keeping us all in touch. Sentimental? Happy birthday kid!
Old friends
…Can you imagine us years from today
Sharing a park bench quietly?
How terribly strange to be 70… Old Friends, Simon & Garfunkel
Andy is my high school buddy. Colleen? We met in the third grade and orbited together `for five years without truly knowing one another. But, I never forgot her. And, never will… Chicago, AANS national meeting. Ethiopian meal with the cousin. When did we lose our hair and get old and fat? Who’s fat!? American Gothic, Van Gogh’s bedroom? Classics! I have seen them?! I was in their presence?! Memories fade. Colleen still checks the weather constantly. Me? I forget to wear socks.
Friendship cake
Colleen recalled an old recipe that she had had a lot of fun with many years ago. It is called 30 day cake on the internet. It takes 50 if you have to make the starter. And so we embarked on a 50 day cake after our trip to Maine. We bought a crock. It was the container that triggered Colleen’s memory recipe. The mashed fruit was stirred once a day for…and finally we had a starter and two cakes worth of fruit. Fruit cake? Nope! Different! Good?! Hmmm, emphasis on good!!
And, of course, ya gotta have a friend. Friendship? After 50 days you have the fruit ingredients plus starter for future cakes. You share the starter and hence the term friendship. Lovely. It’s good to have friends.
Friends and family
No matter. We drift apart. I got family I have not spoken with in decades. Friends? It is so much easier to get lost and never be in touch again. Think about it? Do you? Do I? I have my regrets. There is too much guilt that wells up. But I do have one big do over if ever there was one. Family is forever. You are bonded whether or not you see them. Friends? I think so too. It’s harder to make family than friends. It’s hard to hold on.
Logic
Madness! I have always said that computers are very good at keeping lists. Anything! Keep track, a computer keeps lists. Photographs or digital images, a computer can organize and keep the list. GIGO – garbage in, garbage out. Of course… you have to keep an organized and logical list… Digital alone numbers hundreds of thousands of images. I have two catalogs – sort of – one before 2016 and another after. Don’t ask. It’s chaos. I just checked. Things before 2016 are in the 2016 and vice versa. Confused!? Yes, it gets very confusing in a hurry. I got a spreadsheet data base and redundantly copied backup files/images. In other words, you are organized, till you’re not.
Did you lose interest? Anxious? Do you keep track of your images? It’s important in the event you lose your pictures. Anxious now?
This was 2019, the pandemic was right around the corner. Xmas. Groups!? I use my tripod and gather groups together. Somehow everyone seems cooperative. Pictures were taken. Do I remember? This was a random spin through the catalog and we were in a lot of homes gathered together with family and friends.
Logic? Logical? Just when you think you have a viable system, a good list… you discover chaos. I have a method to my madness. Anyone following me will have chaos. All the information is stored. Nothing has been lost. I can still make a coherent list. Maybe. Ha ha. Christmas in June, oh my!
Glue
At a certain point folks don’t want a big deal made over their birthday. It is a reminder of getting old. Ginny? Well, to change the subject quickly, she kind of looks thinner. No more talk of age. Then again, I would be remise to forget her birthday. Right? Just to be certain, I composed this post way in advance. Glue? Ginny is the glue that holds this group together.
Twas’ a moment ago
… I was in Saudi. It was so long ago, now. I got out when they tried to blow up the American Embassy. I had just passed the compound hours earlier. Close enough, it was more than enough for me. The nice ladies in their native costumes on the jet plane home gave me the worst cold I have ever had in my life. There were a few who missed me, as in, they regretted my departure. Colleen was especially relieved. And today, with Covid, I might have been trapped in Saudi unable to travel for two years. Since Colleen (believes she) is always right, I believe this might be so, too. Oh! If you look close, there’s a Lamy pen and an iPhone 5 in my shirt pocket. Um, it was a vital (phone) line to Colleen from Saudi after we were first in contact. Do I miss it? The people, yes. Life in a totalitarian state, no.
Old friends
Old Friends – Simon and Garfunkel
Old friends, old friends
Sat on their park bench like bookends
A newspaper blown through the grass
Falls on the round toes
Of the high shoes of the old friends
Ginny is the glue. The rest of us would not try too hard to keep in touch. Bless her, it was surprisingly nostalgic. We spoke of everything: old friends and enemies, wars we fought in the operating room, and all manner of stuff that would either curl your hair or turn it grey. I have accumulated plenty of enemies in my career. It was nice to meet up with some old friends. Thank you, Ginny. We all changed. Yup, a few pounds and a few gray hairs. And most of you don’t remember Simon and Garfunkel. This is not fine photography. Its meaning lies with the people in the shots and what history it conjures. Sometimes a picture is more to anchor a memory of what once was.
External hard drive
I could use an alternate brain. It’s simply amazing the number of things I have forgotten. I don’t throw things away. I simply put them away… in places… and then promptly forget until… here’s an example. Back in 2007 Carol gave me a gift that I kept safe and never used. I found the card, box, and all, the other day. We are still in touch, so I thanked her again. … yup! It’s back in the box. I’ll find it in another ten years… and thank her once again.
While we’re talking forgiveness…
Throwback. Here’s an interesting piece of history. Historical? It dates back a few decades. Lisa was drunk. Rare to say, but, she’s not driving either. MA – Maryanne – no longer speaks to me. She chose Lisa in the divorce. Bob, stopped talking with me. He perceived some insult when he got divorced (to Kathy, not me). Susan, I apologize. Last time we emailed, I insulted her Republican values and support for T(rump) – would that be asshole? – in this time of corona. I never remember the date of her birthday. Sorry. Both. I never remember your birthday and I never should question your beliefs. My bad. It’s been on my mind lately. And, when I did a search on my hard drive, this photo popped at the top of my search.
Old (x) friend
Shutterfly sends me periodic messages with memories (pics) from the past. The last time I contacted Maryanne was around 2015. She declined a get together, telling me her best friend was my former wife and that she chose her over me. No hard feelings. It’s just life. People get divorced. Who gets the friends? Who gets the favorite restaurant? Too bad. Maryanne you did yourself stupid. I am in touch with Lisa. Though I have not spoken with you, your life is the less because of your choice. It matters not to me.
For Ginny
This one is for Ginny. She is a friend who inserted herself into my life. I was reluctant. Maybe I still am. I count her among the only conservative Republicans I speak with. Ha ha. This is a shot of my OR nurses at the time. (a long time ago, so long that we won’t count the decades) This was a one of, a singular pool party that did not occur again for me. I am not used to things out of context. I’m used to seeing this group in scrubs. It’s like my elementary teachers. I go home and they are there the next day: kind of like the refrigerator light. Don’t laugh. It’s just my juvenile mind not seeing past my nose.
noun: friend; plural noun: friends; noun: Friend; plural noun: Friends
- 1. a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations
Old Girlfriends
Not. Kristina entertained me at Harald’s party. She’s Swedish. What fascinated me was she’s actually related to a famous Swedish neurosurgeon. Don’t ask. Hey! It was a party where the birthday boy was a neurosurgeon. I sat with her and she tested me on identifying Swedish, Finnish, or Norse women from their looks. I was a miserable failure. You can’t judge a book by its cover. We traveled from Unset back to Oslo and then I never saw her again. Like me, she lived in NY. She remembered me to some folks at Harald’s house some years later. I remember her too. Harald’s Norse. She’s Swedish. Can you tell? I will admit… nah… it would only give me grief.
A long time ago…
(not… in a galaxy far away) …for me. I was friends with this group for a long long time – more than 25 years. Things change. We are not much in contact. Two of the four couples are divorced. Guys are good. We don’t stay in touch. The wives do all of the work. So I am not in touch. I’m lazy? Don’t care? No, just passive. Friends who remain friends work at it to stay in touch with me. Sorry. I’m just ok with whatever. I’m gregarious and like a good laugh. But, I don’t chase. I don’t cling. I’m passive. If you go, it’s ok. If you are there, it’s all good. So, it is with some interest that I ran across this old picture of when they all spontaneously posed for me. It’s a nice memory. Time has moved us on. It was a bright sunny day and a bright memory too. Regret?
The “ladies?” They stay in touch and remain the best of friends. The guys? Silence. We can’t be couples. So, everyman for himself. It’s a guy thing. Regret?
One that got away
There is the story of the fisherman and the biggest fish you ever saw…. In one day recently, I saw a vulture – 3 foot wing spread – sunning and drying its wings in a field – and a pair of cute kids walking in the mist under an umbrella. You won’t get to see those shots. I missed them. Sorry, I see things but don’t always get a shot. Darn!
Here’s another from the archives of way back. We (four couples and my kids) used to rent a ski house. This one time we unexpectedly had a hot tub for which no one was prepared to play in. Undaunted and armed for any (wardrobe) possibility two ladies went in anyway. They were surprised by the guys. It was a big laugh, except one of them was only partially robed. I got there too late with the camera. It was already G-rated and tame by the time Jules summoned me.
Group Photo
I get melancholy looking at this image. I’m thinking about what lasts in life. Fran was a “good person.” There are few who qualify for this designation in my world. I know a few and am blessed. She was a quiet dependable friend. What can you say? She was just there for me on so many occasions. I never ask/asked for help. It’s just me, how I operate (pun). I miss her… both Ginny and me and a lot of others.
Don’t laugh. I don’t fit into this tux any more. The occasion? It was a formal dinner for a hospital fund raiser. I do believe it was the infamous dinner where Richard left after the soup. Yeah, he was a weird guy. … just left without even a “good-bye.”
Happy
This is for Ginny. It was her going away party. Retirement? Nah? Don? He’s a good sport. He does some weird shit?! In this case he was setup by the OR nurses who dressed him in a fake butt and sock filled jock strap. Yeah! You can’t make this shit up. Surprise?! Yup! She was! The photo is priceless and the expression barely recorded. I didn’t know what was coming. So, credit me for not dropping the camera and recording an image or two. There was a group of high school soccer girls in the next room who rapidly departed.
Why today? She’s been asking me to post people. It’s her birthday. She’s old! Really really old. Happy!
Where were you?
It’s not a good photo. I could improve it with means. I’m not bothering. It’s okay. It’s about the story. 2014. No. 2015. Was it? Gee time passes quickly. Valentine’s Day. Get it? Don’t try. I’m being obtuse. However… we were in this same restaurant again recently. I think it’s the second time for me (in this restaurant). It’s not Valentine’s. But I am there again with the same folks; yes,… and with my very significant other. The last time it was on the eve of our buying a house in Delaware. Prior to that, I had never even been in Delaware. And the topper? I was asked, “So how do you like the neighborhood?” just as I was driving in Delaware for the first time. Oh brother! You can’t make this stuff up. So, it was nice to have a steak once again. Meanwhile, my companion has gone vegetarian since then. She ate the risotto.
Last Supper – It’s the people you know
Not quite. I’m not religious. Particularly. In Saudi this view does not fly. So, say nothing. I was advised to do so and for this particular time I did so. So there is no upcoming crucifixion. However, there is always a last supper. My last night in Jeddah, well next to the last, I ate out with the people who cared about me and meant most to me. It was “bye.” We had a very nice peaceful subdued dinner in a Korean restaurant. My circle was complete. I taught Khalid how to use chop sticks in about ten seconds. He’s good. I’ll be missed. And I will miss them. A lot of history was shared these past four years. To paraphrase – what happened in Jeddah, stayed in Jeddah. Or, if you have something nice to say do it. No one likes to hear complaints. To which I can only add, “We sure did some interesting shit.” Yes, that’s the operative word.
New Friends
The hardest thing about leaving anywhere is the friends you leave behind. And there is a certain familiarity to sameness. Folks don’t want to break away from the familiar. Would that be a contributing factor to mid-life crisis… fast car, girlfriend, new wife…? I grew up in a lot of different places. I’ve worked in a lot of places. Some things are constant – my profession and specialty. But otherwise, I have moved among groups and things with relative aplomb. No! I do not like to learn new operations. But learn we must. Or retire. It works that way. Watch. Observe. Shake your head. I watched my senior partner who could no longer operate. He’d failed to learn new tricks. It forces you to depend upon others or… retire. I promised myself never to be so. Fortunately, folks are friendly enough wherever you go. Characters! For sure! They are not family. They are friends. So I made some when I arrived.
Wissam , neurologist, sometimes scuba diver, with a poor sense of direction – in the sea. He once tried to Sudan. I pulled him back, pointed him correctly, and told him it would have been a very long swim…
Rida, ophthalmologist, a man with muscles who could do delicate eye surgery, someone better with 10-0 suture than me – by far!
And Nasser, GS – general surgeon, no – he does not dress like this for the OR. But the man undeniably has style.
Farid, orthopedic surgery – are you seeing a pattern here? Farid is the closest buddy I have here. Curiously, I’m older than all of them. See that? I apologize to him for this picture. Things will tie in eventually… He got me to learn scuba diving. And then we went on a boat trip. He’s very gracious. Shhh.. don’t tell him. He gets sea sick and actually hates boats. To be sure he gave me some pills for sea sickness. Yes, I toss my cookies too. Actually the secret is that when the boat stops, the up and down immediately makes you hurl. Got it? Laughing yet. It’s hard when you are green! What Farid neglected to say, was that he took six pills. We literally had to push him over the side to dive when the time came. He did not remember too much about the diving that day. That would put him high on my friend list – to take me – when he’d rather not. Yes, you make friends. Life is about change. It sometimes feels like jumping from the fire from the frying pan. But on the other side, the experience is exhilarating. One go around, life is one way. I’m thinking I’d like to have been in new situations and recall the stories with fondness.
Buddies
I hide out in an alcove of the hospital. No office. Nowhere to hide. There was an area on the second floor…but they told me people would hide out and have sex. Damn, why do I always miss out on stuff like that. So I am being harassed by my buddies. They make fun that they see me sleeping when they walk by. I know it’s not true because they have never complained about my snoring. Faisal is on the right. He is from Yemen and is my gym buddy. He calls to wake me when I pass out on the gym mat. Rida is my neighbor in the compound and the chief of eye surgery. The whole body – and all he cares about is 2 square centimeters of eye. Yeah, pretty funny. Obviously I was not sleeping. I took the picture! Right? Yes, it’s not much of a portrait, but then again this was not a beauty contest.
Selfies
Everyone happy? You bet. People were smiling for two days straight. Unlike weddings before digital, the smart phone has captured spontaneity and turned everything on end. I still like a real image, you know, real camera? But the smartphone captures that moment in ways film never could. Instant. Instant feedback. Do over. Yup. No waiting. It’s the new order. There are more smartphone images and by far iPhone images online than traditional camera images. Bet you knew that. I’m still amazed at how digital imaging has so easily allowed us to take images in the dark. No flash. No muss. No fuss. Totally spontaneous. Ok, so I shot with a real camera and with a real flash. But you get the idea. They walked away with a shot in hand immediately. Hello World!
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