We met in the third grade. We sat in desks just like these. I remember sitting in the back of the classroom. We were together in the same class till sixth grade. I sent Colleen a letter (yes, with a stamp) sometime around 2008? She responded but we lost touch once again until…
May 22, 2014
Colleen: As Marty has probably told you, we were talking the other day and your name came up. I told him what I knew of you from the last time we communicated, and gave him your e-mail, hoping it was current. You came only imagine my surprise when he told me you were practicing medicine in Saudi Arabia! One of the last countries I could imagine being in, so now I am exceedingly curious (or read nosy if you prefer).
Why? How? How long?, and anything else you care to tell (or nothing if you like better).
May 21, 2014
From Marty Martin: Colleen and I were talking earlier this week. She mentioned your name and…
Nothing is lost. An email search came up “zero!!” for any email from Colleen at that time in 2014. I never throw anything away! Ha!! Search in an alternate way…
“Nosy” She had me at “nosy!” The rest is history.
Was it but just one day?!? Marty emailed one day. The email was in the trash as I noticed Elkins in the header. I know I hinted heavily and desperately with a flurry of email exchange to get Marty to email Colleen and have her to respond to me. She had cut me off in 2008 and I was not going to send her an email first.
Gee! The things you can find when you go looking?! She came to visit in a whirlwind tour of NYC right as I was planning to move away from NY forever. Maine followed. Colleen had always wanted to visit Maine. NY – nightlife, Indian powwow, West Indian day parade… bright lights and people. It was quite a contrast to WV where life is definitely different from NY.
Yellow sheep, Scotland – different again. Travel. Adventure. Fun. Laughter. …favorite lighthouse? Wyeth? … all fond memories now.
An aside: my digital photography is so different now. Too. Better? I think so. Better camera? Or, better photographer?
This email exchange came on the heels of my first iPhone. David made me get it on my birthday less than a month before. It became the electronic tether for Colleen and I from Saudi to WV.
I’ll blow your house down!
The recent cold spell and snow was all across the US. And the winds were fierce without actually being called a hurricane. In my area trees (large trees!) were uprooted. Out basket hanging on the front door was blown off (first time ever) the door. The pond out back rose…
And… there was extensive damage reported at Colleen’s all-time favorite lighthouse in Maine! Pemaquid!
The brick bell house wall collapsed. There was damage to the white picket fence. The lighthouse itself stood firm and tall. But the damage!! The whole thing sits high on a bluff overlooking the ocean. Waves were not that tall as to strike the lighthouse?! But the wind damage was impressive!!
We have returned to Pemaquid each time we visit Maine. This year the damage will be something to lament.
Currently
…confusing perhaps, because I compose posts in advance of publishing them. I am currently about a month and a half ahead.
Therefore, it is old news to hear that we recently lost a beloved cat. He was an integral part of the family and missed sorely. It has been dark. Our thoughts – mine – have been much about mortality. Life is short.
This paused me to think on my own and whether I had done good overall. I report that there was good and bad. On the whole, it was mostly good. I have been responsible to help others live by the surgeries I did. (Some contest this thought.)
I am content to know that I saved lives that were perhaps guided by God’s hand on mine. Or as someone once said 99% perspiration and 1% genius. Yes, there were days when even I could scratch my head and wonder, “I did that?!!
In my current state of thought I am satisfied that I did good and changed many lives for the better. I saved people (because of my skills) many, who would otherwise not be here.
I am indeed thankful for how life played out to allow me to train and be a neurosurgeon once upon a time. The loss of my beloved cat leaves me pondering how little I can do but to think on how wonderous a life can be so precious.
I also think upon the odds that a poor kid could rise academically from West Virginia to be trained at a top program in New York just by being in the right place at the right moment and becoming a neurosurgeon who would do so much for others. I call it luck and am reminded, “Luck be a lady tonight!”
Seven cats … and counting. … one loving wife!
At the start
My blog? Beginning. Genesis. It starts somewhere. Cable car. It was a favored slide way back then. Interesting. A single random chance slide on the streets of San Francisco when one shot was what you got to take.
Tumultuous? Who would have guessed that my life would be … well, I was not faced with too much disappointment? I got to do what I wanted in life. There were ample fireworks. As it wanes I wonder if there were more crashes, or, was there more serenity?
Would’ve could’ve should’ve? There are no “backs.” Yes, there were decisions made. I have regrets. There is no time travel or warp speed. We live – I live with the decisions I made. For better or worse, things turned out. It is easy for me to recall regrets along the way. And there was great joy and success as well.
Every day I still thank the stars for the place I am in. This place, now!
Write a book
I’m lazy. I compose a couple posts about every morning… Write a full length book? Experience? Neurosurgery? Cases? Patients? Disaster? Triumph?
Being retired. (I am) There is nothing required for you to do. Folks would be interested – to know what you have known…. You cannot know how free it is to be able to ignore the phone when it rings. There is no longer any hospital that can demand you get out of bed in the middle of the night to attend an emergency when they ring you up on the phone.
My blog is my story. I have reflected. There is much to say. I have said much. I prefer to reflect upon the wonderful things I have seen. … and upon the love of my life. There is a dark side full of tales and woe. There were unexpected successes. One might call me a lucky guy. Why not? If you would look back, no one could disagree the odds were stacked against me being successful. Hey! No more teasing. I have been very fortunate. I was lucky. I am happy. And if only the work dreams (nightmares) would stop…
A number
Tumultuous. The past seven years from 2016 till now… Digital photography began in 2003 for me. Almost whimper it was a banner event getting the first Canon G3 on my birthday from Lisa. Shortly after I used it at Hamilton College at Jules’ track meet. The Nikon D70 followed about a year later on Dave’s graduation. I have not looked back.
No more film. Cost? Quality? Ease? Convenience? Who can know for sure.
I have used about twenty different digital cameras including iPhone. My volume has increased because digital is so easy.
The number? Digital images number about 898k and counting. Wow! That is a lot! Lightroom catalogs hold all without complaint. External hard drives take up just a bit of space compared to the drawers and cabinets holding my slides.
It’s a number. 898k. If I threw away the bad images…. No need the hard drives are easy to keep and to keep track of everything.
Currently I am posting pics from the most recent catalog (since retired) to present going forward in 2023. It is fun to look back in retrospect. My photographic journey has been rewarding. I hope its legacy will endure.
People, places, things, it has been an arduous journey at times. It is documented for better or worse. Can I say worse? I don’t take bad picture? Perhaps interesting would be more apt.
What a day!
Each worthy in its own right… we stage shots. I hold the camera. Colleen holds the camera. We have fun?!
Photoshop. It’s good enough. We laugh. Family laughs. For the casual viewer… Humor is what you make of it. Colleen is good natured. She is good to me. I used to be content with a staged selfie. But now we are more complicated. Multiple images combine for something out of the ordinary. It has taken a week to loosen up. We have worries. They are never far from our thoughts.
But, on this day, on this wonderful day, we put aside trouble for some fun at the museum and at the lighthouses. Good! Hugs were passed all around!
In your face
Photos inspire me? Or am I inspired perusing my catalog? Subtly different?
A picture needs to be obvious. Does it? If the subject is too small… is it lost in the image?
There is a fine line between good and great. The right moment… will it ever come again? We make choices every day. I don’t want to get too philosophical. There is only one choice. We make it. Don’t overthink it. I realize I am different than Colleen in thinking about choices. Some choices are easy. Other choices will drive you mad as you go down the path of consequences. Which road? Take it. Robert Frost or Yogi Berra?
I wuz here… B.C.
Slides. I wuz here before digital. Before Colleen. .. but never like it before and not since. Confused?
Hey a different view. I would go find the image of Colleen and I … it would take a while. But I was here once. Little did I know how my life would change when I came back.
It’s the weather
We were just ahead of the Xmas storm system. The winds were blowin’ fierce. So we got some great clouds. No complaints. I got a rainbow. A lighthouse in the hills of West Virginia? No matter. I like the clouds and the constant changes.
New Year
You go to bed, wake up, the calendar changes, and it is a new year. It doesn’t feel much different. There is promise and hope. A new beginning. A new slate. Reset. Restart. Do over. But, I liked the last one. I like being retired and with someone I have found and love dearly. Can we just replay the last one once again? Wistful. Promise. Hope. I know it will be all there inside bringing on the new. Happy New Year.
Legacy
Lazy. Life is passing too quickly. Whatever.
Colleen has urged me to write down the stories of my career as a neurosurgeon. My stories fascinate her. It is too horrible to recount on paper. We were wild residents trained without supervision on so many occasions. Criminal. We cut our teeth on CAT scan and later MRI. Enough.
I blog. I have done so since 2011. Amy suggested. No one follows but you and Colleen. Family? Nah! They lost this site many a year ago. Good! Travel! Good times. Family, kids. Love, loss. Love, found. Photography when I could and can…. Life dealt lemons and I made lemonade. No regrets. But I sure woulda done things different. Meanwhile there is eleven years and counting of photos posted. They will last onward. Positivity! It’s good!
Lately, Noa has asked several times…. “What dangerous things did you do as a child, grandpa?”
Going back
Sometimes you go back. Things don’t/didn’t change much. The lamppost of buoys is still there. The lighthouse has not gone away. I am still with the one I love. No, they did not open the Olsen House. The museum is open. The house is not? Go figure. Only a handful of folks visit the Olsen House. Plenty of folks wander the museum in Rockland without a mask in sight…. Going back. It’s never quite the same.
With or without
I tinker. Don’t you? Picture? With or without moon? Person? (Colleen). Counterpoint?
I dunno. It ain’t a perfect world. Sometimes my subjects cooperate and can be moved about. Sometimes it’s just not that simple. And I suppose it is also a matter of preference. You can go both ways. Sure. But at some point you must choose. Or not.
Sunrise/Sunset
It is a matter of your point of view. In this case, my sunset preceded my sunrise. A mere technicality. We were staying so close to Colleen’s favorite lighthouse of all lighthouses. No, she did not get up for the chill dawn show. It was 32 degrees. Nope, a warm cozy bed was preferable. At sunset, no glow, clouds, she blessed her handmade Abanaki Indian meditation basket in the waters of the lighthouse. We were blessed with angel light. At dawn I was blessed with moonlight thru the clouds as well as a memorable morning glow.
There are days and there are days. We have had some wonderful days shared in harmonious peace.
One more step
Colleen would not walk all the way out on the breakwater to the lighthouse. She was nervous about the rocks. They are flat but have gaps. She was afraid to fall.
And, she wanted to go up to the top of the Owls Head lighthouse but the cash was in the car. Ha ha, she said she would not hear the end of it – walking the breakwater rocks. And, had I walked to the top of Owl’s Head, we would have seen the breakwater light. Got it? Confused? What I shoulda done is walk the extra steps. We didn’t. No harm came to us. I did not get the shot. And we are still just fine and dandy! Yeah! Close, but no cigar.
Now
Nowadays. Life is still disorganized. Sure, why would it be different? Come as you are. Discover adventure as you go. We don’t work with a plan. I take pictures. Random discoveries, scenes, locations, cats, weaving, and selfies dot my work. You never know what reflection will present itself or what sunset will come next. Though life can be unpredictable, it has and is certainly a lot of fun.
Think… cheer
If you take enough pictures, a few will be good. It follows: Even a blind squirrel gets a nut sometimes. Selfies? The easy way or hard way? It’s probably not good to say I go both ways. Beer? I don’t drink beer! Heresy! As you can see, we do have some good times together.
Socks? Everyone needs socks. These days, I’m retired. My socks retired too. I wear ‘em about three cold days a year now. Colleen? – adores socks. And, she adores the Pemaquid lighthouse!
Sheeps? Why is it sheep? I did not go to Maine for the art. Did I? Spinning wheel? Colleen arranged to pick up a signature spinning wheel that I found online. She brought $$. And, now, I use this wheel. Was it a plot? Planned? I love this wheel – to use; it’s sweet! I love my wife … more!
Reads plaques
Knowledge and information feeds curiosity. Colleen is full of it. She tries to read each and every plaque. She is always learning something new. She and I are complementary. I am “photo op.” I get the pic and she remembers the facts of the place. California coast, I like the concept that a picture can be a thousand words. We’re a team, seeing, and, always learning. It takes time to read plaques; I get more time to get my photos.
Quick, a Fill-in
My photo catalog was open to this page… autumn in Maine, Monhegan Island, Sommesville, fall, Pemaquid. It’s a redo! Same pictures, new post. …yes, but worthy enough to comment upon once more. I moved today’s original post – Ray – to his b’day July 3. You will have to wait on that. We chased fall color. On Monhegan Island we found the quintessential tourist shot of the “Inn.” Animals posed.
We finally did get fall color… just before we departed Maine. A woodpecker, on the fly, in the wild? Yup, it was just sitting in a tree… yeah, yeah, not flying, but, I’ll take it! The Sommesville bridge? Yes, fall color!
Fun? More fun than being in a bar? Try Pemaquid. We were there over and over again. It is Colleen’s favorite spot. Can’t you see? And we went back about every opportunity that arose. Colleen has a grand sense of humor. Mine is off? A bit warped? A sandwich shy of a picnic? No, nope, nah!
Group shot
I do not purport to be good. I just want to fool the average viewer. There are Photoshop gurus who can make this all look too real. I’m a bit more casual. You can call me lazy. But, I do have some skill. Anyway, it’s all in fun. My model is cooperative. Everyone has a good time. Luckily, we do not require the help of strangers to stage our antics.
This was about catching the reflection of the lighthouse. Once again, people walked by and never looked down. There were a few savvy photographers. Yes! A few trips ago, I found out Colleen was a tree hugger. It has not affected our relationship. She has told me white birch is one of her favorites. Imagine?! Competing with a tree! But then, I have always been beside myself.
Live to eat
Some folks eat to live. We don’t. Colleen has great fun in eating out. I got silly. Soup dumplings? The secret: they put a little frozen broth into the dumpling before they seal the wrapper. Ha ha! I was fooled this time. The dumplings came in soup broth. The joke was on me! We ate in a local “classic” diner. … just this once (never again, ever!). I’m looking for this Tibet style store. I remember the statues?! Go figure. They are Mexicali Blues who sell products from Peru. Oh! That’s why I could not find them online no matter how I searched. Ok, it’s not a real lighthouse, but, every day we see one. Hmmm… soup dumplings, I guess I’m lucky I did not get chickin’ N dumplings. No pictures were harmed in this series of non sequiturs. Do I really have chopsticks in my ears?
One that got away
There’s not much to show (the one I missed). We got a spectacular sunset at the lighthouse complete with ‘angel light.’ I got the reflection one more time. Colleen did not come down on the rocks. The light was fading too much. I got sunset hitting the top of the lighthouse. Colleen made me sit! Yes, actually, sit. No pictures, just sit. It worked for a minute. Ha!
We just missed the golden pink glow hitting right under all the clouds. Timing. We left a bit too early. Who knew? That would have been spectacular. The hint of it that I shot … well, it’s enough to make you wistful. Hey! We got another great ending to the day! We passed a local favorite – Moody’s. Maybe, someday….
Solitude
A revisit to Rockland got me to the only tree of color (so far). The lighthouse was off in the distance. A heron posed. Raindrops adorned the geranium. And, we reflected on a rainy day. Colleen shopped the farmer’s market. Some days are just made for quiet contemplation away from chaos. Is this the reason Maine calls to Colleen? Me? … all go and more go…. Hey! I was (came from) in NYC.
Tech alert: I shot the lighthouse from far away with a tiny point and shoot – Sony RX100 VI. The zoom is as good as my large heavy Nikon 80-400mm zoom. There is no comparison in weight. I think heavily (pun) on whether to carry the big lens for only a few telephoto zoom shots.
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